Don’t Lie to Yourself. Above All, Don’t Lose Yourself.

January 1, 2025 • work

Every year, I remind myself of a few principles.
This year, one quote kept floating around:

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself.” Dostoevsky

I don’t follow philosophers or book writers closely, but this line stayed with me.

Dostoevsky talks about self-deception, losing self-respect, submitting to pleasure, getting offended easily, and creating false happiness. I agree with all of it.

But for me, there’s something even more important:

Don’t lose yourself.

Losing and Finding Myself

My life truly started in January 2022, the day I got my first computer.
Since then, I’ve done things that once felt impossible: working multiple jobs (no overlap), freelancing, hackathon wins, and a lot of progress.

Yet between 2022 and 2024, I lost myself multiple times.

In 2025, I changed one rule above everything else:

Don’t lose yourself.

Because no matter what happens:

  • I am the only one who has always been with me.
  • I am the only one who will always be with me.

And still, I stopped standing with myself.

The Perspective Shift That Changed Everything

At some point, I stopped thinking in first person.

Instead of:

  • “Can I do this?” I asked: “Can you?”

Instead of:

  • “I will do this tomorrow.” It became: “You should do this tomorrow.”

I started watching myself like I was someone else.

Even in team settings, my inner voice would say:

“We need to finish the project, so you will do the coding.”

But when speaking, I’d say:

“I’ll handle the coding part.”

That mismatch mattered.

Now, my inner voice is honest and direct:

“I will do the coding because it moves the project forward.”

And when I speak:

“We want the project done by tomorrow, and I prefer to take this part.”

Same action.
Different ownership.
Everything changed.

Success Metrics That Weren’t Mine

I was hitting all my metrics, but they weren’t my metrics.

If Company X needed Y users, I treated Y users as my success.
I never asked:

  • What do I gain from this?
  • What am I learning?
  • Where does this take me?

If the metric isn’t yours, the success isn’t either.

Everyone Has an Opinion About Your Life

As you move up, you meet people who’ve been on the same level for years.

They’ll tell you:

  • Get six-pack abs first.
  • Improve your English first.
  • Get a degree.
  • You’re too confident.
  • You don’t come from the right background.

The truth is simple:

They don’t know you.

So how can they know what you need?

I spent years explaining myself to strangers, my reasoning, my plans, my choices.
They never understood.

And that’s okay.

Explaining yourself too much is another way of losing yourself.

Be Intentional

Ask yourself:

  • Do I want to meet this person, or do they want to meet me?
  • Do I want to send this risky text?
  • Do I want to take this risky job?

If you’re not with yourself, you’ll eventually give your decision power to someone else.

And someone else will never live your life for you.

Don’t Chase Happiness or Self-Hatred

People say:

  • “Be happy.”
  • Or, “Be hard on yourself.”

My belief is different:

Just be you.

If you’re happy, you’re happy.
If you’re sad, you’re sad.

Don’t step outside yourself to label emotions.
Stay inside. Let them pass.

First Principles Over Self-Deception

At any moment, ask:

  • Does this take me where I want to go?
  • Is this a first-principles way of solving the problem?

If not, reject it.

Books, rules, equations, all were written by people no better than you.

Trust yourself enough to think.

Final Reminder

This sounds obvious.
It isn’t.

It’s the most important rule I lived by throughout 2025, and the one I want to remind you of again.

Don’t lose yourself.